All that said, my favourite thing about you is how little I know you. I have no idea how you like your tea, and it’s glorious. As long as I don’t think about it too closely, the idea of learning about you is exhilarating. You make the idea of travelling down that familiar road seem somehow new. There’s so much to discover, but it feels like an adventure rather than a chore You’re all potential and promise: every new details is exotic and striking, every piece of family history an unearthed relic, every anecdote some glamorous story.

There are things about you that I do know. I was scared of you at first. You seemed so self-possessed. I’d find myself withering under your gaze, like you could see straight through me. To be honest, you seemed cold. It was as if you’d already decided that I had nothing of interest to offer. My fear became a self-fulfilling prophecy: everything I said would collapse out of my mouth and die.

I’m not sure how things changed, but somewhere along the way they did. It was like a sea-change. I discovered I could make you laugh. Your eyes crease up and you forget yourself for a second. It’s really rather lovely. I like that you’re pretty awkward. You’re probably more awkward than me, actually. I’ve realised that what I was scared of was actually bluster. It’s exciting – like knowing a secret. I feel I’ve seen something in you that most people would miss, something tender and thoughtful.

Of course, I’m aware that getting to know you properly will turn you into a regular person, filled with all the contradictions and complexities that will bring understanding but take away enchantment. It’s not a bad thing. Really knowing a person either replaces giddiness with something deeper, or replaces it with nothing at all If it turns out to be the latter, well, I’m okay with it.

It’s worth the risk. For now, I just enjoy you being in my life. I get excited when I see your name in my inbox, or when you enter a room. There’s a sense of possibility that courses through our every conversation like an electric current. Who’s to say what will happen next? Maybe we’ll get talking one random evening, the hours passing unrecognised as we finish a bottle of wine together and end up wandering the streets like teenagers, feeling ten feet tall. Anything seems possible. It’s not that I’m expecting anything to happen between us, but what’s quietly thrilling is knowing that it might.

Another thing I know about you is that you’re reading this right now. Of that I’m pretty certain. I hope the idea of that gives you pause and makes you wonder if I’m writing about you. And then, gosh, just for a second, just for a moment or two, I hope that you find yourself hoping that this is about you. Because let me tell you, oh splendid, maddening person, it is. Hi.”

By Jason Ward
from issue eight of Oh Comely

This magazine is an inspiration to me always.

Waris Dirie is a name which should go down in history alongside Rosa Parks for being a woman that stood up and did what was right to change our future for the better.

She lived a simple life as a nomad one day running from everything she knew into a world unknown with only herself as a tool for survival. She adjusted from a third world country to the culture of the western world with no one to support her. No man, no money, no skills, no words in some cases.

From nomad to a member of the UN. I would like to promote her cause; that of illegalising female genital mutilation.

This practice is one of deep cultural and religious belief. It is practiced so the females of a society are physically unable to sleep around. In the best case, only the clitoris is removed, in the worst the labia also, which is then sewn together to seal the entrance to the vagina leaving a tiny hole far smaller than natural through which to piss and bleed.

In Waris’ case she was maimed in a desert with an old razor blade by a woman who travelled to perform the atrocity, with no anaesthetic she was held down by her mother while this woman carved through her genitalia. She did not run, she knew this was her passage into womanhood, left alone in the desert by the removed parts of her body to heal she became septic. Bound so she could not move she endured the wound alone in the most part, visited by her mother to feed her.

Later in life Waris had this barbaric practice reversed and her vagina was opened once again. For the first time she could piss full flow without pain and could release her period blood without passing out in pain as it flowed back into her pelvis.

The saddest part is that Waris is one of the lucky ones. Each year millions of women are at risk of FGM and many die in the desert alone from such barbarities. Much work is being done to illegalise these practices and many outreach programmes have been implemented to educate the cultures in which this is practised to inform them of the health risks involved.

If you wish to follow this further please forward this article to others, look at www.unfpa.org and www.desertflowerfoundation.org I would highly recommend the book Desert Flower by Waris Dirie. She is an inspiration to all (and its only 200pages long!).

I am often told that I should go travelling, that it would be good for me and I would love it. It is ever so popular lately that my ego rejects the idea on the basis that I don’t like doing things everyone else does! I have no doubt that it would expand my mind as all experiences do but you have to wonder, exactly how good is all this travelling for the planet?

I read an article a while ago in the Resurgence magazine which told about how our incessant need to pilgrimage to sites of spiritual awakening has led to many sacred sights being irrevocably damaged.

This habit of travelling for wisdom reminds me of the Buddhist who needs isolation in a monastery to maintain his vows and peace of mind. The real challenge is surely to be a monk in the city? Pushing a 9-5 with the rest of us. Not only is it a challenge but it is a life affirming lesson in individuation.

So, you went travelling? How long did your new found mentality last? How long before you wondered when you could go travelling again to feel that way once more?

I believe that not only does our habitual travelling for wisdom erodes our planet but it also erodes our ability to find the lessons in our daily life and hold these experiences in the light (a phrase used often by Quakers to mean seeing the divine in everything). It supports an idea that the things worth seeing aren’t right under your bloody nose! Why does something moving have to happen in another country? Why does something expand our mind only when it is totally foreign to us? What about the wonderful subtleties found in the strangers on a train? What of the changeable weather and sunsets?

To associate foreign worlds with spiritual wisdom is to further justify the basic disconnect we have in the western world with our true wishes, desires, hopes and dreams. All of which have been scewed to suit a society that pushes everyone to early graves due to over indulgence and broken hearts.

So please, don’t go travelling for wisdom before you can see the divinity beneath your nose.

Namaste

Well, I’ve been far too busy to write something in time for Winter Solstice but I have some time free on Christmas eve thank goodness!

My house is filled with free decorations this year as I don’t have any money. I’ve covered a branch with glitter, collected a tonne of pine cones for around the house and trailed the mantle piece with yew, pine cones and holly. There’s even the odd bits of Ivy around. All these plants remind me that not everything dies during winter. It brings in the lushness of the evergreens and reminds me that Spring will come again.

Winter solstice in the shortest day and longest night. As such it is often during this time that many suffer depression for some reason. Often because of seasonal affective disorder but often this time of year, which is so stereotypically about the bringing together of people, highlights the loneliness some of us feel. Unfortunately we have record levels of suicide and divorce at this time of year. So while our days seem dark our minds also have this dark tendency. This Christmas Eve happens to be a dark moon, a time for introspection as well which will strengthen the lonely vibes for some.

However, while all this darkness is about it is our jobs to remember the light. Many of our Christmas practices derive from this aim. The evergreen plants we bring in reflect light and remind us of the coming sun. We also light candles or fairy lights in the darkness. Just as we should remember that the darkest of nights is followed by increasingly long days our lonely times will be followed with joys. It is only through experiencing these darker moments can we truly treasure the happier times. So even if you spend Christmas alone this year, just remember there is always light around the corner. Be Merry wherever you may be and whoever you are with, even if it be yourself, because at the end of the day; Miserable People Miss Life.

The Female Eunuch is a classic in Feminist literature. Written in 1970 it was a break through and very influential in its time. But what of it now?

Interestingly, the book begins with Germaine Greer’s explanation t hat she had wished this book would be obsolete by now but unfortunately it still has relevance. But I would argue this isn’t the entire truth. Although I can see some themes which are indeed relevant the book definitely needs an update as it lists abuse and discrimination which simply don’t occur anymore. If this were the only reference a woman or man had to create his/her views on the sexes the examples would probably lead them to an angry predisposition towards men. The sexist behaviour/thoughts we are left with now are more subtle than they were in the 70′s. One might argue there is a growing sexism against men which began with books such as these. This is begotten from the angry and cynical tones of the book and backed up by its cases of violence and abuse from men towards women Although it is undoubtedly true these abuses still occur, they are probably extreme cases which without the proper context given could breed men-hate in females.

Her stress upon demanding more than just legal rights of women but a fundamental shift in attitude is ‘right on’. Perhaps this is why Greer feels the book still cares relevance as now we have legal rights but our fundamental thoughts on sexual roles has not changed much, the way we express them has.

Although the book is an important part of our sexual history it would do us all much good to hear Greer’s up to date examples of sexism. I would also like to hear her take on how these views are pervading the minds of men in an equally negative way as it once only affected women.

Would recommend reading it if you’re into your feminist stuff but as a historical reference only.

The Goddess Light Within by Helena Nelson-Reed

I have been using my yoga practice to find the ‘spaces in-between’. The momental gaps between each breathe, the extra flexibility found in a muscle between thoughts.

This morning I felt peace between my thoughts about the past and plans about the future and I realised there is no point in anxiety or depression because they are both grounded in the past (depression) or the future (anxiety), neither of which ever exist in the present.

Today I ask you all to find yourself in the warrior pose and as you push between your front (future) and back (past) foot to find your balance realise that you can only truly hold yourself upright if you press equally between the two.

The world is mostly made of the spaces in-between and that is where you will find peace.

Namaste.

Capitalism. I went to see the protestors sat outside St. Pauls today. As I walked around I started reflecting and it went something like this.

I felt anger. I don’t think this way my own but the emotions emanating from the camp. I wondered to myself, these activists must be very angry with the world but is this really doing any good? It certainly has brought issues to the table but these protestors are a minority and they are operating outside of the system to change it. I believe the politicians will simply engage for publicity stunts if at all. I don’t think they will be taken seriously for they are one extreme of so many in a democracy. I believe that if a majority didn’t like capitalism it simply would not be able to survive.

But you may say, people aren’t well informed enough to make a knowledgeable decision. But, i ask you this: who is happier? The protestor on the street fighting against the system or the ignorant lay man operating within it?

The answer to this may be painful and inspire passion but isn’t happiness what life is all about?

I actually think that the st.pauls protest pushes the boundaries. By presenting the issue in a way that is so alien to most they don’t engage but alienate themselves. It is so much easier to comprehend unusual behaviour if we say to ourselves, ‘that murderer is a madman’ rather than face the reality that we all, as humans, potentially have the ability to do such things. In a similar way I believe the majority will see the protests and box those people in a way which explains their behaviour without having to reflect on a part of themselves.

I also think that if this subject is handled poorly by the protestors they may find themselves being cornered with legislation and creating more laws against their behaviour than they already had thereby decreasing our freedoms.

In England the law is that we can do anything we want unless otherwise stated. This freedom will be degraded the more we push our luck.

Maybe I’m a whimp, maybe I hate confrontation, maybe I am the ultimate pacifist.

The funny thing is my morals are not very different to these protestors but I don’t go making a big deal out of it because I don’t wanna cause trouble for myself, or attract attention.

Every time I pick herbs I am giving a massive middle finger to the pharmaceuticals and every time I forage for food im giving another to the supermarkets ripping off farmers. But I don’t think everyone is crap or stupid for not doing what I do. I am happy living the way i do and this is the only thing I can control. The way I feel.

You can remove my rights, bind me with laws, take away my freedoms but you can never take away my ability to be happy. If the world falls down around me, you’ll find me on a mountain laughing, and there’s nothing the system can do about it!

Welcome to the ultimate freedom.

Consistently we are encouraged to box ourselves into a type. Are you, an emo? A hippy? A punk? A chav? A yummy mummy?

This “typing” of people comes from the advertisers and psychologists. They came together in the 50s to analyse the worlds psyche and how to best please/manipulate the public. By the 80s we had mastered this skill so well we were able to group people into their types and produce products to please the individual in all of us. But I digress..

I have always classed myself as a hippy and thought of myself in this way too. I always believed this allowed me to operate freely to find happiness outside of the average 2.4 children and marriage scenario. But as I grow older I realise this in itself gave me a parameter to operate within.

So, the ultimate rebellion? To throw away my preconcieved notions of the hippy stereotype I so easily fit into and accept that I am a person.

So on the outside I may seem to you to be a vegetarian (i am not), have many experiences with festivals (ive been to a hand full) and detest marriage. I in fact am none of these. I am slowly having to accept that true happiness for me may indeed lay within what I like to call “the norm”.

So, you won’t find me down at st.pauls protesting, and you may find me in a mac donalds late at night after a long shift. Maybe one day you’ll even see me in a white dress walking down the isle to an unsuspecting victim. But that’s alright. Because I am an individual and no psychologist/advertiser combo is going to tell me otherwise.

So next time you pick up a magazine with a questionnaire in the back trying to sort you into a type, I urge you to tear it out, and spit on it. Preferably publicly. Then look at yourself and wonder which category you have already placed yourself in.

It is this deep satisfaction that makes me so unimpressed by the satisfaction that comes from making purchases. It seems like such a waste of time and money when I know I can get a better fix for free!

On this picking trip I come across Sloes, Hawes, Hips, Grapes, Yarrow, Red clover, Conkers, Hazelnuts, and more. I picked many Hawes to make medicine with. I like to use Hawthorn Berries (Hawes) to treat problems associated with the heart chakra. It is a cardiac (heart) tonic working on physical problems with the heart such as angina, palpitations, high blood pressure etc. and emotional problems such as a broken heart, coldheartedness or anger. I make a tincture of hawthorn berries each year and use vodka as it seems to bring out a sweetness which I have never experienced with Ethanol preparations of the tincture. The sweet taste used to be a good indicator of an energy source which would have been a very comforting thing to our hunter/gatherer ancestors. Even to this day we find the sweet taste a comforting one and this is why I like to include it in medicine for the heart.

I picked some yarrow as I plan to make a magical ward with it for my door. This will repel any unwanted guests . Medicinally I use yarrow to manage a fever but picked it earlier in the year as it is coming to the end of it’s season now. It is less well known for its uses as a womens tonic helping with heavy periods and menstrual pains as well. It is best known for helping to staunch wounds as its latin name is Achillea millefolium referring to how Achilles used it to staunch the wounds of his army on the battle field.

I picked sloes for my sloe gin this year. I couldn’t make enough of this last year and I will en devour to make more this year! They are currently in the freezer so that when they come out the sugars break through the skin. My sloe gin is made in the same way I make a tincture but I use gin as the alcohol instead. So check out the tincture making section to find out how.

This is the feeling everyone should have during the colder seasons. Safety brought about by the ever-present ‘dangers’ of the weather outside. I feel connected to the seasons more with every year of my wiccan life. I am settling into the seasons with my habits.

This month I am beginning to think about the cold setting in. I am due to insulate my home tomorrow. I’ve already hung the heavy curtains and I am going to add another layer of insulation to my loft. I’m also going to add a curtain to my open plan living room so as to make a closed room which I can heat alone as I spend most of my time in here. This should cut down on my energy consumption/bills significantly. I will also show you how to create a double pane where there is only one using simple techniques.

I have also been enjoying the harvest as it has come early this year. I have shown you recently how to make elderberry syrup but if you don’t fancy making it you can always buy a bottle from me (follow the contact us button to contact me). Get out there and get your berries now people, they have come early this year!

Most berries this time of year are packed with vitamin C which is great for combatting a cold. The black berries (elder, blackberry etc.) have their colour thanks to Anthocyanins which are generally anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, anticancer, venotonic and improve night vision (Ganora, 2009). Be careful when picking and processing elderberries as although they are great when ripe they can be toxic when they’re not. Avoid the stem, bark and leaf for the same reason. Those parts of the plants toxicity is due to Cyanogenic glycosides (sambunigrin) which are bitter (Ganora, 2009). Rose hip (Rosa canina) is full of vitamin C also, in fact they were encouraged to be picked by the government during the war as we could not import citrus fruits from abroad and these were a good way to avoid scurvy.

After picking and washing my elderberries and blackberries I put them in some rum that should warm the cockles of my heart on a cold winters day.

Oh and Alys Fowler has a new book out all about foraging whcih I would highly recommend even though my copy hasn’t arrived yet. Check it out. I’ve enjoyed the rest of her books so far and see no reason why this won’t be great too.

Happy picking

References
Ganora, L. (2009) Herbal Constituents: Foundations of Phytochemistry. Colorado: Herbalchem press.